Friday, January 7

Moto-Fascists on Parade for 300th Post

It was truly a moto-fascist parade tonight on my ride home. And this truly is my 300th post. Yay!

I was almost past the worst part of Ridge Road eastbound. It was the end of the shoulderless two lane part and I was just yards away from the much, much wider part where there is a wide turn lane for a long stretch.

Two cars were headed west. Just before I met the lead car the following car, piloted by future moto-facsist, whipped into my lane and gunned it. Behind the wheel was a teenage girl. She passed between the other car and myself. I was screaming incoherently (read: creative obscenities) as she passed within...I don't know, less than three feet and head on!

Almost immediately after the crack monkey teenager flaunted her "Get Out of Natural Selection Free" card I heard an engine gunned behind me. The car overtaking me (which must have passed through the crazed girl's car) also passed well within three feet of me. As did the next, and the next, and the next. Red rage. Berserk. Kill. Murder. Gouge. Scream. Pump fists. Spray spittle.

During a brief interlude in the moto-fascist crack monkey parade I moved myself into the middle of lane. Yeah, I took it. It was mine.

Of course then every car that passed afterward (along the really wide section of Ridge Road with a WIDE MIDDLE TURN LANE!!!) passed within 3 feet and one observant young man in an Outback yelled for me to get out of the middle of the road.

Then he apparently waited on a side street and passed me a second time as I approached Kipling and screamed some other idiocy about me being in the middle of the lane. I'm not gonna elaborate on my half of the conversation. I don't really remember what I said at that point. Hopefully it was legal.

Of course, since he went out of his way to pass me the second time to discuss the matter he had to turn around and go back west to get to his destination (Young Moto-Fascists meeting) and of course this time he got to yell at me out of the driver's side window of his Suburbaru.

The Road Rage Beast within me wishes he had cut me off and got out of the car. I'm glad he didn't. But it would have felt righteous and satisfying to pound on his chubby face.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to turn this all PG-13. This is sort of a family blog after all. I'm not a violent person. I'm really not. But I was soooooo mad.

I had stopped riding Ridge Road because of less hideous incidents a couple months ago, but then I decided since it was the most direct route home I wasn't going to let a bunch of idiots in cars (moto-fascists) keep me from riding on it.

And since then it's been fairly calm on Ridge Road. Guess the forces of darkness were all pent up and was released with gusto tonight.

I won't be riding Ridge Road for a couple of months anyway. I had already decided that once I went back on late shift and my evening commute would begin after dark that I would stay off of Ridge anyway. Man, I'm glad I had already decided. I'd feel like a coward for making that decision now. I vow that in March I'll go back to riding on Ridge again.


Happy 300th Post!

[Edited to correct typos]

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