Monday, February 14

Roll Out the Red Carpet: We'll Leave Tire Marks

Grammys. Let's hash it out. I attended the Grammys for the sole purpose of reporting back to my minions…er, Dear Readers. The Red Carpet was red, Mick Jagger is old, and Jewel is pregnant. Sob.

I really, really liked Cee Lo Green (Best Urban/Alternative Performance) and Gwyneth Paltrow's performance of the Song Also Known As "Forget You." I think Cee Lo's Elton John inspired costume might have been the single best visual element of the entire show. I love the song, especially the clean version. The vocals and the accompaniment are stellar. If I were younger and still single I would probably identify very well with the lyrics (both versions) as well. Gwyneth's Glee version is very good, so to hear both of them performing the song together was a special treat.

I could have lived my entire life without having saw Lady Gaga's (Biggest Loser) "Born This Way" debacle. This is progress? And I hope Madonna is ramping up the lawsuit against Gaga for stealing her image. It's one thing to pay homage to your heroes. It's another to blatantly steal their gimmick. I should know, I've resisted the urge to change my blog title to "Bike Snob DEN."

The highlight for me was Mumford & Sons followed by the Avett Brothers and then I left the room for Dylan's performance. Don’t get me wrong, I acknowledge what the man has done for American music, I just happen to like covers of his songs better than the originals. Jimi Hendrix's rendidtion of All Along the Watchtower? Joan Baez's live version of Blowin' in the Wind? GNR's butchering of Knockin' on Heaven's Door? I just couldn't sit through a live Dylan performance. I'm probably not the newest Mumford & Sons fan, but I'm fairly green when it comes to their catalog. Gonna have to remedy that soon. On the other hand, I've been a HUGE Avett Brothers fan for at least the past year, and have been familiar with them for about four years. It was awesome to see them on the Grammys.

I'm not anti-Bieber (Prettiest Hair) in the strictest sense. I think the kid's got talent and I hope once his voice changes he will still be able to sing. I don’t relate well to the content of his songs, but I think as he grows up many more of us may learn to like him. Or not. Basically, I'm saying: Justin, if you’re going to keep getting popular, write some songs that people who aren’t twelve year old girls will like.

I'm not a fan of rap, so the yawns became oppressive during Eminem's performance and his Crazy Charles Manson-eyed acceptance speech (Best Rap Solo Performance, Best Rap Album, Most Righteous Anger). I don’t really like the guy. I can appreciate righteous outrage, but it seems to me that he should channel his rage into something constructive like blogging about cycling.

I was stoked to see Ray Lamontagne (the man's a GENIUS!) nominated for Song of the Year. Lady Antebellum's (Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best Country Song, Best Country Album, Best in Show, Best Country Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals, Best Gratuitous Use of the Word "Belgium" in a Feature Film, Best Latin Jazz Album, Best Use of the Word "Antebellum" in Conjunction with the Word "Lady") domination of all things Grammy snubbed that.

Truthfully, I think the Avett Brothers should have been the conquering hoard. They rock! I was glad to see them perform even though my wife is not as big a fan as I am. I vow that next time they play Red Rocks I'll be there even if I have to sell my plasma, the plasma of random strangers and a few organs. I don’t see why they couldn't have swept the field. They truly are the best at just about everything.

We were stoked Train's Hey Soul Sister won Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals. It's the Bean's favorite song. We sing it a lot, and at high volumes, despite low talent (Bean sings good).

And finally, who the HECK is Arcade Fire?! Well, at least they had the good sense to have bicycles on stage. They can't be all bad. I might have to queue up some Mumford & Sons and Arcade Fire on the MP3 player for a future commute.

And there you have it, my completely useless contribution to the amount of bandwidth dedicated to the Grammys today.

AND, one last award: CGinAKR wins the Movie Trivia Question from Friday's "Absolutely Nothing to Do With Cycling" Post

She guessed Mad Max which was as close as anybody else got. Anybody? The correct answer is The Road Warrior. The quote is from the opening sequence.

So here is your award:


But seriously, thanks for playing. I always hate playing against myself.


  1. Wow, another mention on Pavement's Edge! My ego is feeling pretty good this morning, thanks!

    I'm a bit bummed to have missed the Grammy's, though. There were bikes!?!

  2. Arcade Fire had two bikes roaming around the stage. One guy had a camera on his helmet and they switched to his POV frequently. It was weird, a bit surreal and awesome (O-S-U-M)!