Wednesday, March 9

Moto-fascism: Why I Am Certain Our Handbasket is On Fire

I saw a wonderful display of moto-fascism this morning, and oddly it wasn't directed at me. I was traveling through Denver West on my way to work. Quick aside: I had a CSP trooper slow down beside me as I was taking the entire right lane just prior to my encounter with the MFers (Moto-facsists). He didn’t stop, or roll down his window and say anything to me. He just slowed down for a second, matched my speed and then went on.

Anywho! I was approaching the intersection of Denver West Parkway and Denver West Boulevard (I'm not kidding) from the east. The light was changing from green to red and a woman and two kids were crossing my path on the opposite (west side). When they started across the light was still green, but the road is divided four lanes so it took them a bit to get across. They were trying to make the bus on the opposite side. The bus was sitting at the stop. Mom/nanny could have waited for the next light, but they would have missed the bus for sure. Halfway across she notices that the little guy has dropped a glove back at the corner. It was about that time the left turn arrow turned green and traffic surged forward like lemmings toward the seacliff.

Now, the little guy was probably ten. When mom/babysitter said: "You dropped your glove!" he immediately turned back across the lanes of traffic to go get it. I'm sure he believed in the good of humanity and that the approaching cars would not ruthlessly mow him down. I'm sure he didn't think: "Those crazy MFers aren’t going to stop!" He's a kid. He knew they needed to make the bus, he knew he couldn’t leave his glove. 2+2=4. But in this particular case 2+2=MFers.

Cars crowded through the intersection, horns blaring, creeping closer to the terrified kid as he snatched his glove and fled back across the road in terror. He did have the presence of mind to look right as he crossed the other lanes to the opposite corner. Thankfully they made the bus without getting squashed by moto-fascists.

I really wanted to jet across the intersection and run interference for the kid. I would have gladly positioned myself between the boy and the steel menaces, smacking a hand on their hoods hard enough to dent when they blared their horns. But I have the benefit of years and judgment. I glanced around before jumping on my pedals and realized I would get creamed trying to get across to him. Thankfully he didn't need the services of myself and the Cannonball. We so wanted to offer them.

People baffle me. Those moto-fascists that were impatiently harassing that child were three minutes or less from the parking lots their hunks of metal would occupy all day. Denver West Parkway dead ends at NREL one block further west. Basically the development is a cul-de-sac with no exit. If they were turning onto DW there, they were home free.

I have issues with people who get so impatient they will harass another human being so ruthlessly. I guarantee that none of those people were so late they could have justified their behavior toward that kid. And what if that had been their child and some other MFer behaved that way? I bet all of those involved raced to their parking spaces and then moseyed from car to office. They took their time getting settled in, wandered to the coffee pot, chatted with Bill or Mary a few cubicles down the way and then updated Facebook before starting their completely useless day. None of them were driving an ambulance, or a fire truck or a police car. And even if they had been, there would have been no justification for harassing that poor kid. Or anyone else for that matter.

This is the reason why I wish we could just get on with the post-carbon-apocalypse so we can begin restructuring this really, really sick society. It won’t be easy. But the MFers will have a rough time dominating the world when they have to push their cars everywhere.

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