Wednesday, November 27

Scrooge You

I call shenanigans on this whole Christmas affair!  Shenanigans! Shenanigans! SHE-NAN-I-GANS!!!

You cannot call me "scrooge" because I am resisting the onset of Christmas on the DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING so don't even try!

Last night my kids came across a poorly done Charlie Brown Thanksgiving show on Netflickers.  It must have come out during an off year for Schultz.  It was pretty shoddy.  There were adults and they talked coherently.  I was already in a shenanigans-calling mood because of that.

Mandy called from the other room and suggested I look to see if there was a better Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special or some other appropriate Thanksgiving kids show on the television device.  I pulled up the local TV listing on the ole laptop and found exactly one holiday themed program: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  And 2013 became the year the kids added a whole slew of colorful words to their vocabulary.  Well, not really.  But I was thinking them!

Are. You. Kidding Me?!?!  Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?!?!?!?! TWO DAYS BEFORE THANKSGIVING!@#$%!@#$%!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!

HALLELUJAH!


Christmas has supplanted Thanksgiving.  And why?  Corporate greed.  Its that simple.  Christmas has encroached back into the fall more and more every year as Big Retail tries to gobble up bigger and bigger portions of the Christmas pie. 

And now this year the Boxes are starting their Black Friday sales on THURSDAY!  It's only coincidence that Thursday's Pre-Black Friday sales happen to fall on another holiday.  Oh, you don't remember which one?  It's Thanksgiving.  Yeah.  Christmas has successfully sieged and overthrown Thanksgiving.  We should just wipe Thanksgiving off the calendars from here on out.  It's done.  It's gone the way of the Roman Empire, the dodo, and cheap gas. 

My family is not shopping at any store that is open on Thanksgiving this year.  We're boycotting them because it's wrong to make people work through a holiday that should celebrate family and the good things in your life.  At least that's what they used to try and sell us about Thanksgiving.

But even when I was a kid Thanksgiving was little more than harbinger of Christmas.  As I was gobbling up my first round of turkey, mashed potatoes, rolls and dessert for the year I knew we were entering the home stretch toward Christmas morn when I'd go into a frenzy of tearing wrapping paper to shreds and flinging my body about in ecstasy as I basked in the glory of all of those magnificent plastic toys.  I'm saddened to say that my own children have been so conditioned.

Christmas was cheap even then.  And this greedy push to drag it over Thanksgiving and--Lord forbid--Halloween has only cheapened it even more.  And its cheapened Thanksgiving.  I'm not one to wax nostalgic about the "meaning of Thanksgiving" or the "meaning of Christmas" but I find it insanely ironic that Christmas Greed has eclipsed the one national holiday that is sort of anti-greed.  I would interpret Thanksgiving as a time to be thankful for your blessings and the bounty of a rich land, but not to wallow in the mire of Christmas consumerism, wracking up credit card debt in the name of "sales" and all to help rich people make even more money and get their books into the black.

Any other day of the week that has had "black" thrust in front of it has been so darkened because of disastrous things.  But not so for Black Friday.  No, Black Friday is the day we celebrate our shallow greed and our unholy worship of capitalism.  Let me assure you now, you don't need any of that stuff you'll fight and tussle for on Friday.  Your kids won't miss it for long if you just don't buy the stupid Rocket Man.  Little Susie will grow into a well-adjusted adult without a new Barbie this year.  And lord knows they don't need new video games or DVDs. 

I guess Christmas has won the War on Thanksgiving and we didn't even realize there was a war on.

Our lives have become little more than receptacles for advertisements.  Stop the insanity.  Don't buy anything this week or next.  Don't give in to the temptation to click on anything on Cyber-Monday.  Just don't do it.  Don't cheapen yourself by participating.  Don't tear off another strip of your soul to give over to the machines of greed and consumption in exchange for some cheap plastic garbage you won't care if you still have next year.

I'm really not a scrooge.  I like Christmas just fine.  But I don't think I need to be in the Christmas spirit more than a couple of weeks before Santa even begins gassing up the sleigh.  I resent being smacked in the face with Christmas every day for a month and a half.  I don't love it that much.  And I'm beginning to think this year I'll be rooting for the Grinch's heart NOT growing three sizes.  Let's let the ole Grinch go Grinchly on Christmas' behind for once and avenge Thanksgiving this year.

That said...

Happy Thanksgiving from all of here on the Pavement's Edge!  Look to the things to be truly thankful for, and don't feel the urge to go out and buy more things to be thankful for.



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