Friday, March 28

Double Dogwood Dare You

Turtle:  I dare you to bike to the Red River Gorge and do the 4 Good Trail Race with me on April 26.

Rabbit: Whazzat?!Whazzat?!

Turtle:  The 4 Good Trail Run.  It's one of those grassroots underground type races you go on about.

Rabbit [pats pockets, glances at naked wrist]:  Okeydokey.  Ifn' I'm free that day.

Turtle: Do I sense the onset of psychosomatic wussitude?

Rabbit [frantic sweeping glance, then leans casually against a fencepost]:  Nah, I just...can't...[pokes in a cluster of winter-brown weeds at the base of the fencepost]...find my smarty-smart phone.

Turtle: Well, let me know once you find it.

[Turtle ambles off down the lane]

You might often ask yourself: is this Chainring character a cyclist, a trail runner, a photographer, a male model, or hack horror writer or what?

Well, there is no simple answer.  I am—as is often portrayed in film and television—a jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none. None.  Master of none.  But that gives me the freedom to suck at them all, while still pursuing whatever strikes my fancy at any given time.  This is code for adult diagnosed ADHD combined with a strict right-brained interaction with the world that be.

On April 26, two thousand plus fourteen, I will be wearing many, many, many hats.  The CTL and I will be bikepacking into the wildebeest-infested Red River Gorge the night before.  We’ll wake, consume fine bikepacking fare (I will be bringing fresh free-range blue eggs), and then we will run on trails with our feet.  There is a good chance we will be joined by my lovely wife and SAG bunny for the underground grassroots run being called 4 Good Trail Race by its conceptor Willis Weatherford.  

It should be a fine spring day, and hopefully the dogwoods will be blooming.

Later that day I will most likely bike again, perhaps work on some trails for tender climbers’ feet, and then participate in some family fun at Gladie Creek Visitor Center, Flea Market and Tanning Center with the family.  I’ll be the one wearing a dad hat.  My fancy will be stinging by this point.  If all goes well I’ll ride home from the Red River Gorge region and rack up a lot of human powered miles.  Or alternately I will succumb to psychosomatic wussitude and ride home with the wife and kiddos.

I’ve got to be thinking not only of the screaming-right-at-us-Mohican, but also of the Kentucky Century Challenge, the Rugged Red half marathon, and the Sheltowee Challenge later in the fall.  So this 4.76 mile jog around Auxier Ridge and the Courthouse Rock Trail will be a nice reprieve from my schemings.  This one is not on me.  Mark dared me to bike up there and do it with him.  I should be skeptical since he’s not a proclaimed trailrunner.  Do you think he might be tricking me into bikepacking?  It doesn’t matter.

That day is also the first of the Sheltowee Endurance Challenge, a 72 mile, 36 hour “backpacking” challenge around the skinny midsection of the Trace.  I won’t be doing it this year, but if it happens next year I’m in!


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