Wednesday, April 2

The Redbud Ride: Send Me Dead Flowers

There is no way I’m not gonna do it.  You’ll think I’m nuts, but I don’t care.  You’ll think you’re smarter than me, but you’re not.  This choice has little to do with brains.  And I think it will totally be worth the promotional value.

I’m going to ride the Xtracycle in the Redbud Ride.  Mayhap I will even ride it for all three of the Kentucky Century Challenge rides in which I plan on participating.  Cargo bike century!  I’m sure some other woozy-headed cycle-freak has done it.  I know I’ve come pretty close myself.  But I want to make a statement with the bike.  I want people to see that a cargo bike can—quite literally—go the distance.

During a 26 mile RT bikesummit-bagging trip


I figure…why not?  I don’t get enough miles on the ole X as it is.  And I can haul anything and everything we might want along the way.  At the aid stations we can deck surf.  I can ease back on the nose of the deck and ride “chopper-style.”  And I can also bring along my good camera, a parka (because Spring is still Winter’s !@+¢h here in Kentucky), a picnic lunch, super-hero costumes to change into if the need should arise, and some sunscreen.

I could bring one or both of my spawn, but as I proved last Friday, it’s tough to haul a freshly shorn first-born pre-teen spawn up steep hills (hauled on a cargo bike #44).  Man, he’s gotten big!  Used to I could drag him all over the Denver Metro Area, but one short, steep paved section of the Pottsville Escarpment (I.D.ed as “Steamshovel Hill”) had both of us walking. 

Truth be told, if I had been hauling him in a trailer we’d have probably made it.  My legs, though encased in a sheath of tallow, are still pretty strong.  But when I stood up to offset the intense effects of gravity upon our 300-ish pound train I couldn’t hold it all together.  Atlas not only shrugged, but dabbed a foot down as if trying to stomp on a black widow spider.  So we walked the last few yards to the top.

My eldest is therefore too old to haul more than short distances.  He does have a swift new bike he obtained from a different fat man in a red suit.  It has gears.  It’s light-weight.  He should be rarin’ to go with it.

The li’l one has a new bike too, but despite it’s smaller scale it weighs as much as a Sherman tank.  It has gear too, but seeing as how she still needs a few weeks to grow into it, and it outweighs her by three times her own weight, I don’t think she’ll be pedaling her own self on any long rides soon.

Self-contained SAG vehicle
Non-petroleum consuming model


All that monotribe aside, I hope to get the minions out upon some world class trails ASAP.  Like the Dawkins, the Creeper, the Miamuh, or some other MUT or MUP or bike path.  Lettuce not forget the Legacy Trail nuther.

If the kids were a few years younger they would be earning their own KCC jersies on the back of my cargo-rocket.  I’d haul ‘em to and fro.  Course I was thinner when they were younger.  And maybe a bit stupider.  And maybe a bit more fit.  Just sayin’.

I can’t wait for the Redbud.  I was bummed I didn’t get to do it last year.  Despite my admonitions against doing the KCC this year I was adamant I wanted to do the Redbud.  Then we found out the Preservation Pedalwould be in next-door Clark County this year, and the unridden E-town ride would take the place of the OKHT and it just made sense (in some strange universe) for me to do the KCC again this year.  It’s a whole new annual animal.  Except…it’s still just more organized road rides which I have professed to “hate.”

So to mix it up, novelize it (in a non-literary manner), and to further promote and proclaim my questionable sanity I will ride the entire 2014 Kentucky Century Challenge on the Cannonball X, my faithful longtail cargo bike. 

 
Opposite season, same sentiment

With skinnier tires of course!

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